mrsbiersackpurdy Asked: Please can you write me a fluffy/smutty Andy Biersack one? Because I’m really struggling at the minute (selfharm/depression) and need something to take my mind off it. Fanch chu love xxxxxx
I decided to do this now because I know what it feels like to be in that place, so here is the best thing I could think of, sorry it’s not my best smut, but merp. Ps. Stay Strong, love, you can do it. I believe in you<3 I’m here if you need me, anytime, anyone. Anyone can message me if needed, I’m always here.
I knew Andy would be mad if I cut right now, but all the things people tell me, I can’t help think that it’s true. I looked in the box where I kept it, and thought for a moment. Is it worth it…? I mean, I should be able to make my own decisions, but what if it hurt’s Andy more than anything? Ok, I just won’t tell him, or I’ll do it where he won’t find it. Yea. I’ll just do that….
I opened the box, and lifted up my sleeve. I was gonna do one cut for everything anyone’s ever told me for the day. It added up to about thirty. I sighed, knowing that Andy would be home soon, and I would have to act like nothing was wrong. I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and looked myself in the mirror. “You deserve this…” I whispered, and the tears started falling down my face. I looked myself in the mirror, I cried even more. Looking at how broken I was, made me feel worse. What ever happened to the girl who didn’t have to force everything inside of her, just so she could fake a smile? What ever happened to the girl that didn’t have to worry about her makeup everyday? What ever happened to..Me…? I looked at the blade, my arm, and then the mirror. “I’m so sorry, Andy..” I whispered through my sobs, and dragged the blade across my arm a couple times.
I made it to fifteen before the front door opened and closed “Y/N, where are you” Andy’s voice boomed through the house. “One minute!” I yelled back, cleaning up the blood and hiding the blade again. I put on my jacket, and redid the makeup that was smeared all over my face. I walked out, and hugged Andy. “Hey babe” He smiled at me. I smiled back, and hugged him again, burying my face in his chest. “What’s wrong?” He looked me dead in the eye, causing me to look away. Think of something, Y/N, think. “I just missed you. You’ve been on tour for so long, I just missed you, that’s all.” I said in a innocent voice, trying to play it off. His hands travled down my arms, to my wrist, causing me to wince. “Roll up your sleeves, now” He demanded. I just looked at him, then the floor, ashamed that he knew I cut. When I didn’t roll them up, he did it and got down on his knees. He closed his eyes then kissed them. Every single one of them. I started crying, but not from being ashamed, but because someone actually cares.
"I love you so much, Y/N, I just don’t want to lose you. I love you too much to see you do this to yourself. You’re just a beautiful girl, with the weight of the world on your shoulders. You don’t deserve any of the shit your getting. You shouldn’t let the things people tell you get to you. Don’t let your mind win the fight, talk to me when you need it, ok?" He said in the most softest voice I’ve ever heard him use. I nodded, and he slowly leaned in. "I’m gonna show you you’re worth it" He whispered against my lips, and kissed me again. The kiss was soon heated, but not in a lust way, more in a passionate, "I love you" type of way. His hands soon found their way up my shirt, and he slid it over my head, then did the same with his clothes, as did I with my jeans. He unclasped my bra, and threw it on the ground. He kissed down from my neck to my left boob, sucking on it lightly, while massaging my right one. Then repeated the process with my right boob. He took off my panties, then slowly pushed into me. I moaned out at the feeling, and moved my hips, so I was meeting his thrusts. "Babe- I’m…I’m close!" I moaned out as I felt the familiar knot form in my stomach. "Me to, babe. Just let it go" We came at the same time, and we snuggled into the covers.
Andy wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. “Please don’t do it again. I love you too much to see you hurt. Please, just please, get rid of them?” “Yes. I promise” I said, smiled up at him, soon falling asleed to the peaceful sond and rhythm of his heartbeat.
And in that moment, I knew. I knew that someone loved me. That someone cared. That someone was there for me. That someone wanted me to stay alive. We didn’t just “Fuck” or “Have sex”.
What we just did. We made love…